Did you know that you have the power to essentially control the actions and attitudes of others? Not only do you have the power, but did you know you ALREADY exercise that power influence for good or for bad? Did you know that most of the time when you are treated unfairly, you were asking to be treated in that way? How crazy is that? It's true.
To break it down, have you ever had someone expect great things from you (even when you didn't think you were capable) and then you succeeded? That happened to me one time that I will never forget. In my speech class as a senior in high school, we had an assignment to prepare a speech to sell. We had to come up with a unique and creative product or service idea and then create two minutes speech to sell in to the class. While brainstorming the first day the assignment was given, I came up with a couple really great ideas. Because of my enthusiasm and everything I had written on my scratch paper, the teacher assumed that I had essentially written out my entire speech that first day. I proceeded to not prepare or work on the speech at all for the subsequent weeks until the week I had to actually present the speech. My teacher gave a side comment to me stating how he expected me to have the best speech in the class because I had written it already on the first day. I thought to myself that I now had no choice but to create the best speech of the class. I worked harder than I thought I could. I practiced so much that I could practically recite the whole speech right now four years later. It ended up being one of the best speeches he had ever heard because my classmates legitimately wanted to purchase my product immediately after finishing the speech. They forgot that I had merely made up an idea for a product that does not exist.
We all have an unconscious urge to live up to the opinions of others seem to have for us, or to live down to them. When you expect somebody to react in a negative way you unconsciously are giving them signals to react that way. There is a psychological law that says to adopt the attitude and action you want the other fellow to express. When you are already sold yourself on an idea, it is apparent to the other person. Additionally, if you also sell yourself on the idea that they are going to believe in, agree with, and act upon your idea, they are almost forced to do just that.
A historical examples: Conrad Hilton, the entrepreneur a who created the Hilton Hotel chain, Had more confidence than money. Basically all he had in way of assets was a reputation for keeping his word, and the ability to inspire in others the same confidence in his plans that he felt himself. The first really first class hotel Hilton ever owned was begun with less than $50,000 of his own money. The hotel architects estimated that it would cost at least $1 million. At that time he had only raised half-a-million. However because he believed in himself and made it apparent that he was going to make it happen, people invested their money in him. The story of Henry Ford and John D Rockefeller is essentially the same. Both of them had Far more belief and confidence and then any real assets when they first began. However because of their confidence and belief that it would happen, other people believe them and invested in them.
Lastly, yesterday I watched a talk given by the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He talked about times when he was visiting different new branch congregations throughout Northern America who did not have a local presider over the service. He felt prompted by God to call one of the locals to preside over the congregation. Because of his confidence in this person and God's confidence in them, he ended up living up to these expectations and changing his life so that he would be capable of leading the church service. The conclusion given was that people essentially live up to the responsibilities and expectations that they are given. If not much is expected of them, then they will probably succeed in doing not very much. It is so important to give people the opportunity to raise their game up to the expectations that you give them.
We can start implementing this idea today. It can help your children or housemates wash their dishes. It can help your friends or your children to do better in school. It can help your self or your friend get a job. Just by speaking confidence into people, they unconsciously will strive to hit them.
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