For some reason, I am constantly surprised when I tend to react the same way every time when I go on vacation. After being ecstatic for a break, I immediately hit a wall and start doing nothing... Unfortunately I've never planned to do nothing for a break so I feel disappointed... which makes me not plan, do nothing, and feel more disappointed!!! Whoot! Lol. Fun freakin times... haha.
Sooooo... WHY IS THIS?!?!?!
***Now I'll stream of conscious write and see what I come up with. I apologize because my stream of conscious tends to jump around and not make a ton of sense... :) ---> After writing it, I think it made sense and will offer insight into life. Make it to the end, the conclusions are pretty solid. :)
Ideas... with the feeling of having 'lots of time' I tend to feel like I 'have all day' to do something and therefore have no real deadlines and then do nothing. Maybe that was something that happened to me this last quarter. I had 12 units with extra curriculars, but felt as if I had all this time. So little was fixed in my schedule so I had the feeling of endless time... led to less planning... led to procrastinating... Oh fun stuff. Now I get to repeat a class!! Oh joy. I finally understand why my 7th grade teacher told me he did worse in college after he was kicked off his football team than when he was on it. He had all this free time which made him feel like he didn't have to be exactly on track for his school work. And then he failed miserably. Fortunately this hasn't exactly happened to me, but this last quarter was the closest it has been!
Soooo... what is the conclusion? Just plan and stick to it? Really?!?!? Can it seriously be that simple? Maybe... I mean I have been able to do astounding things in a day when I make decisions and stick to my schedule. 3 classes, 1 meeting, 2 faith discussions, meeting with a friend for lunch, doing some homework in the breaks. If I wanted to do anything on those days I had to fit it in the gaps or suffer the consequences. Right now I don't really have any 'gaps' because the whole freakin day is unplanned!! Haha.
So if planning is the answer... how can I actually stick to it? I have a terrific track record of late completely ignoring the plans I make. It has become a very powerful habit. This last quarter it has been even more impressive. Before I have a thought in my head in the mornings, I was able to sit up, stretch across the room (further than reasonable to still be on the bed), turn of my alarm (sometimes multiple), and lay back into bed to fall back asleep. It takes a LOT of practice to get that good at that --> more than one month! So I'll have to put a lot of conscious effort into dismantling it!
How can I do that? Well... I think the first way is to have a compelling reason to get up in the morning. I think that is what gets most people up in the morning anyways! More often than not it is to pay bills or make money or something to that effect, especially for the 9-5ers. Is there a compelling reason for me to get up? I'm on break aren't I? Shouldn't I just continue this habit? Ummm... well... I don't think so... this last quarter for me felt like break... at least a few days a week when I didn't have classes (note to self: always have something early-ish in the morning that you will let people down if you miss... letting yourself down is easy, letting others down isn't!).
So compelling reason... and someone to hold me accountable... Well, I'm not a huge fan of the 'or else' mentality. Like get up now, or else you'll get fired. Or get up now, or else you'll fail your class. Get up, or else your parents will get really pissed off at you. Never been my personal cup of tea (however tea does sound kinda good... like REAL tea from an experienced tea maker!).
Ok... compelling active reason where I'm taking the initiative instead of responding to others demands. ***Side note: I've always preferred being on the offensive. Wow... I LOVE being on the offensive. I don't think I'm capable of functioning very long on the defensive. Definitely shut down fast. If I feel like all these people or things are demanding lots of me and I don't know why I'm doing it. Definitely shut down. Then I do nothing and stress out. Should definitely look into that sometime: how can I stay on the offensive in life? That sounds like a really worthwhile question to answer actually!***
Active reason... well the biggest goal that I have for this break is to figure out my life purpose! And develop habits/rituals that I can use for the next calendar year. Ironically, I'm doing a great job not doing that so far... Maybe create a sense of urgency? Oh ya... DEADLINES! Those work wonders... Having a 4-5 week break with almost no plans doesn't help much with the sense of urgency! Looks like setting those short term progress goals are pretty freaking huge! Wow... I'm learning a lot with this stream of conscious! :)
Ok... I'll conclude because this is getting kinda long...
Lessons learned in stream of conscious:
#1: Writing a stream of conscious REALLY helps you solve problems! It gives you the opportunity to step out of your life and just problem solve rather than be bogged down by it.
#2: Having a compelling reason to act offensively is brilliant! Probably a good idea to review it at the beginning and end of each day because it is one of those things that is easy to forget.
#3: Planning w/ Deadlines is genius. The important of having a sense of urgency is almost always underestimated. That is why they say that 80% of the goal is done in the last 20% of the time (Pareto Principle).
#4: Letting yourself down is ridiculously easy. Have an accountability partner (or coach or SOMETHING!)
#5: Blogging/Writing is fun. You learn a lot! :)
*** Just found an awesome quote that I'll now end with all the time:
"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."
I love my life! :)
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