Relationships are like Houses...

I was talking with a friend of mine just a bit ago and we came up with a pretty solid metaphor for relationships. Building a solid relationship is like building a house...

1. You can't skip steps! If you go too quickly in a relationship, you aren't building it on a solid foundation. Just as it is rather challenging to begin with walls and a ceiling without a foundation, it is difficult to build a relationship without first being good/best friends. Although it is highly possible for it to last a period of time, it is impossible for it to work out in the end. The only way that it could work out is if you went back and redid those skipped steps. Specifically, this is in regard to dating --> bf/gf too soon before a solid trusting friendship is developed. From personal experience (as well as my friend's experience) dating you BEST FRIEND is the best type of relationship you can develop. However, it is rather challenging to go back and develop a friendship after the relationship has progressed and become too physical.

2. Rebuilding is really hard! Breaking up in a relationship is like tearing down a house. It is really easy to bulldoze a house (to break trust), but it takes months to years to build a rebuild it. The same is true with relationships. After a break up, eventually getting back together is common. However, if the relationship goes back to where it was before too soon, you will have skipped steps again! It isn't like you are going to an abandoned house. It is more like the house was destroyed and you have the blueprint of the previous one. It may be easier to get back to where you were before with all the instructions, but it is still imperative to lay the foundation and put up the structure first.

3. You can't build it without having the materials yet! Going on to another relationship before you have moved on from the previous one is not a good idea. Time is needed in between relationships to recuperate and collect the resources to have another one. It is important to completely get rid of the old house (relationship), to let weeds overtake it so to remove part of its memory, and to collect new materials for the next house. Salvaging pieces of the old relationship and putting it into the new relationship is like building with mixed materials. If you do that, you'll see the pieces from the old house in the new house! That will definitely not be helpful to moving on and leaving the old house/relationship behind!

4. Lastly, you can't built it without having the knowledge yet! Personal development is key to understand what the right materials are for the relationship and how to build it effectively. If you don't have the proper knowledge or tools, it will be impossible to build a great relationship. It would be like beginning construction of a house without any experience or studying in the field of construction! The final would be pieced together at best. In all likelihood it would fall down and collapse just like a relationship between two people who don't know have an understanding of relationships. They don't have a blueprint quite simply, they don't have the 'blueprint' of the ideal/goal.

You and I could probably think of other ways it relates, but these were the first ones that my friend and I came up with. For me it especially realtes to my life in terms of starting with the solid foundation of mutual friendship/trust before moving on to physical aspects of a relationship. It is quite easy to just want a quick house thrown up there to start living in now, to jump into the good part of a relationship before it is developed. But ultimately it won't lead to a happy and fulfilled life in a house that will actually stand when push comes to shove! I hope there was something here of value for you; I definitely have a new appreciation for taking it slow and not skipping steps!

I love my life! :)