The real way to get people to learn stuff from you

“Tell me, I'll forget.   Show me, I may remember.   But, involve me, and I'll understand” - Old Chinese proverb.

One of the greatest common misconceptions that I have had before is that people are learning from me when I'm talking to them. Often times I catch myself becoming extraordinarily enthusiastic and unable to stop talking about opinions and ideas that I have. Typically the listener is nice and appears to be listening intently and understanding. But when I feel like I know all the answers and jump around to key beliefs and understandings that I have without taking time to TRULY listen to the other person, I'm not getting through to them. People lose focus very quickly (or at least I know I do) unless they are intimately involved with the conversation/talk.

If you don't believe me, think back to a recent conversation you had with a friend. I can almost guarantee that the vast majority of the information you remember about it is not what your friend said. Often times it is what you said, thought, or did; rarely do you remember much that the other person said. Another example... do you ever feel like you are just 'not that good with names?' Well... didn't the other person tell you their name, but you forgot anyway? This same idea can be applied with tons of other things we talk about with friends or people in general. For me, after I forget what was said and what actually happened the only thing I am somewhat able to recall is how that person made me feel while I was talking to (or spending time with) them.

My last example illustrates why I even remembered this idea in the first place. I was in physics class the other day and found myself getting sleepy and tired... I realized it was completely my fault for nearly falling asleep! Ultimately, it is the student's responsibility to find a way (no matter how hard) to pay attention and learn in class from a professor. However, depending on the professor it can be easier or harder to do this. In the case of this class, my teacher started off strong with questions the whole class could easily participate in and discuss the answers to. But as class continued (it is nearly a 2hr lecture), he didn't give us our regular break and didn't ask a single questions that was meant to be answered by a student (he might have asked some, but gave the answer seconds later). That is simply not an effective way for someone to remember what you talk about or be actively involved in the communication process.

So for some take home lessons... if you truly want to impart knowledge to someone, INVOLVE THEM! This can be accomplished by asking questions instead of telling them. You can in a way 'lead' the audience (a friend or more) along with the right questions. With their responses, it is FAR more likely that they will actually remember. As we noted earlier, we can tell that from personal experience that we remember far more what we say than what someone else says. Therefore, if you get the audience (a friend or more) to say it, then... THEY MAY REMEMBER! :)

I love my life! :)